The line on the graph must go up, even if it’s for one second! Glory to the CEO! Praise the shareholders! My life for the corporation! Now give me that minute-by-minute profit projection!

I know that the ‘Christian’ choice would be to accuse Jesus of socialism for helping the poor for free.

We regularly review our pay to ensure we offer competitive wages and benefits.

Translation: We pay as little as we can get away with.

They’re not rioters, they’re seditious scum.

The F-16 deployments will make the Russians crap themselves even more than the Stormshadows ever did. Just the missiles alone have panicked Russian air defences into friendly fire.

I imagine the player who started the trend by leaking the Challenger II armour profile is probably in prison, by now, or at least out of a job.

I think people are now leaking the documents for the sake of it.

Out of your seven motorcycles, which one is used for which purpose?

Task failed successfully.

Exactly. I sometimes grapple with an urge to slightly exaggerate my issues to make sure I get a fair assessment.

I love it when the DWP Aktion T4 question if I’m still autistic or not. Believe me, I wish I could stop being autistic and not have anxiety over very normal things and sudden changes. Even the initial application for PIP or DLA was a nightmare as an uncaring system was not convinced I was autistic despite all of the evidence provided by my GP. They very nearly ran me out of money when I got sanctioned without realising it, followed by a year of further paperwork battles as the DWP Aktion T4 continued to deliberately misinterpret everything.

Then there’s a lot of anti-welfare crap swirling around the internet, so I sometimes feel guilty about claiming anything even though I know it’s legitimate. People are salivating at the idea of the DWP having enforcement powers, checking where you go on holiday (even though a flight can cost less than a train ticket) and other intrusive measures.

Currently I’m at risk of losing my ESA since they decided to question my autism again and want to do a phone interview, which is exactly what I struggle with, so thank god there’s people who can support me with that call. Honestly, if I had to fight the DWP alone, I probably would have lost all of my benefits and offed myself by now. It’s tough enough even with my really good support network.

I think he wants Ukraine to fold so he can peddle his shitty inventions to Russia without pesky sanctions getting in the way, whilst styling himself as a great diplomat.

Something, something, invisible hand of the free market and Social Darwinism. Dead people can’t be in poverty, right? Problem solved!

So what should we do next time there is another global pandemic? What’s the alternative?

Lockdown has made me realise that people don’t crave freedom, they instead crave a lack of responsibility to a sociopathic level. They are unwilling to consider a greater good nor anything else beyond the immediate effect on themselves.

If it happened in any other country, it would have been called a coup or insurrection by the media, for sure.

Clearly the answer is to arm lots of untrained civilians.

Losing time rather than money would be a stronger punishment for that kind of person, so lock him up for a while where he cannot enjoy any luxuries.

Won’t somebody please think of the CEO!? Spare a thought for the investment portfolio!

I bet $3.50 that some Republicans secretly love drag shows.