That’s not a “never”

I know you’re joking but you basically just suggested buying a pack of frozen mixed veggies so you can pick out and use only the carrots for your stew, and the idea of someone actually doing that sends my brain into a tailspin

I love the voice change, it makes it sound like it’s saying the item with massive air quotes so suddenly everything sounds like a euphemism for something terrible

If I had a nickel for every time I was troubleshooting with a friend and discovered they thought turning the monitor off and on again was “rebooting the computer” I’d be depressingly wealthy.

I want more of this guy

I just threw up in my mouth a little.

It’s my new ringtone is what it is

Lol no one’s trying to tell you your experience, they’re trying to tell you the experiences reported by everyone else. That’s the difference between anecdotal evidence and empirical evidence.

…driving people to go crazy with demand for the shai-hulussy-shaped vessel.

This can’t be legal

Do they… they torture them with a rubber horse…?

ETA: Goddammit it says rubber hose

I admire the bravery it takes to be so wrong in public like this. You’re an inspiration

Nah, the nakedness was meant to symbolize humanity gaining self-awareness, which separates them from the purity and innocence of other animals. After Adam and Eve eat the fruit of the Tree of Knowledge, they realize they’re naked and feel instinctively ashamed of that (as most people would, but regular animals wouldn’t), so they cover themselves with leaves. In fact IIRC, the fact that they’re covering themselves up is what tips off God that they ate the fruit.

I’ve always just assumed our particular corner of space is considered the “Florida” of the universe

Dude, I’m literally just saying it’s wrong to generalize an entire people as a “cancer.” If you seriously can’t see the reason in that, I honestly don’t know what else to say.

I’m not pro-Russia by any means but this is some extremely troubling rhetoric

I would imagine it’s at gunpoint, figuratively or literally.

“This thing seems to be true.”

“Actually, this thing doesn’t seem to be true, and here’s why.”

“So you don’t want this thing to be true, then??”

Maybe now you can see how ridiculous you sound here.

Alternate title: Find someone who can sit on your face

So this is totally random and unsolicited, but I’ve seen you around some of the communities I’m in and I noticed you sometimes use slashes to emphasize words (e.g. /actual/). Maybe that’s a personal preference, but just in case, I thought I’d let you know that Lemmy supports Markdown formatting, so you can italicize words by wrapping them in asterisks. For example, *actual* becomes actual

See a doctor