• Sotuanduso@lemm.ee
    link
    fedilink
    English
    arrow-up
    23
    arrow-down
    2
    ·
    7 months ago

    You can also get that kind of confidence by not worrying about where you fall on the attractiveness scale. I like to think I’m that way. If I wanted to I could definitely pick out things that might make me ugly, but I don’t worry about it. I care more about the interactions I have with people than I do about how I physically look. The only things about my appearance that give me a degree of confidence are just things that amuse me, like that I always wear the same color scheme or that my normal and facial hair differ in color and texture.

    I can think of at least two of my friends who also share the quality of being comfortable and self accepting despite not being physically attractive, and I really enjoy being friends with them.

        • someacnt_@lemmy.world
          link
          fedilink
          arrow-up
          0
          ·
          7 months ago

          Because I have hard time ignoring my appearance issues because people bring it up so often. I cannot comprehend being able to ignore those…

          • Sotuanduso@lemm.ee
            link
            fedilink
            English
            arrow-up
            1
            ·
            7 months ago

            Who’s bringing up your appearance issues? Friends? Family? Bullies? Strangers in the street?

            • someacnt_@lemmy.world
              link
              fedilink
              arrow-up
              2
              ·
              7 months ago

              Ofc not families, but social peers and strangers bring these up. I don’t have friends… Maybe so many people are just bullies?

              • Sotuanduso@lemm.ee
                link
                fedilink
                English
                arrow-up
                1
                ·
                7 months ago

                That seems… quite odd to me. Are you in grade school? That might explain it.

                • someacnt_@lemmy.world
                  link
                  fedilink
                  arrow-up
                  1
                  ·
                  edit-2
                  6 months ago

                  No, I am in graduate program of a university. but it does seem like many of them never grew out of grade school…

                  Not that they need to be in this sense. In a competition-driven society, you only need to survive yourself, it is a good option to kick someone else down to go up higher. Idk if such manipulation skills would require the “growing up” part.

    • Crashumbc@lemmy.world
      link
      fedilink
      English
      arrow-up
      6
      arrow-down
      12
      ·
      7 months ago

      TWO WHOLE FRIENDS! Stop the presses!

      The research has been done on this. The undeniable fact is “pretty” people have a clear advantage in life.

      I know that may make you feel uncomfortable, but it’s the truth. The same as being poor is a disadvantage so is being ugly.

      Just like someone who grows up poor can overcome it, so can ugly people. But that doesn’t mean the disadvantage isn’t there…

      • Sotuanduso@lemm.ee
        link
        fedilink
        English
        arrow-up
        5
        arrow-down
        2
        ·
        7 months ago

        You called one person being that way an outlier, so I added three more from my own experience (two friends and myself.)

        And yeah, maybe that is still an outlier. I’m willing to accept that, because I have something that might explain why it’s more common with the people I know. The three of us are part of a Christian fellowship, and Phillipians 3:3 says we have confidence in Christ and not the flesh - interestingly enough, I literally just got back from a Bible study with that group where we hit that verse.

      • lurker2718@lemmings.world
        link
        fedilink
        arrow-up
        3
        arrow-down
        1
        ·
        7 months ago

        This wasn’t the point as i read, the question was about confidence. And this has little to do with how “pretty” you are. Your confidence is only in your mind. Sure if others think of you as ugly, it’s harder to gain confidence. But I think especially a lot of girls have confidence issues with their appearance despite looking “good”.