Either by choice or sheer luck. What is something that has happened to you that made your life actively better?
(So far) For me it has been me finally able to move out of my parents home.
Escaped religion.
Same, what a challenging but worthwhile journey.
Growing up in the clutches of devout religious thinking had such a profoundly negative impact on my mental health and view of the world in general that relinquishing it was one of the most refreshing and revitalizing experiences of my life.
Religion teaches you that this life is only important as a stepping stone to eternity, that leads to some incredibly short sighted and unhealthy living. Accepting that this life is actually important for its own sake instead of as some sort of twisted game from some random deity helped me begin to make choices that objectively did more for humanity and myself.
Religion teaches you that evidence and logic are not routes to “truth” but feelings, faith, and obedience are. Untangling that mess was tough, as a result for decades now every single thought and belief has been in question. The pain of being so wrong but so convinced I was right has led to a bit of an issue allowing myself to believe anything
Religion is one of the largest stains on our species. I don’t blame religious people, they’re victims, but by george do I hate that we have perpetuated such tragic belief systems.
Religion is the worst thing to happen to humanity.
100% agree with you.
Me too. I was going to be a preacher. I went and studied at a place where people from all around the world (mostly Africa) came to live and study. I met some interesting people and I loved the experience.
That was going to be my life. I thought nothing was more important than saving eternal souls.
I met the only atheist I had ever known at that point. I was 17. I just couldn’t convince him. He told me to go online and look at other religions. Not the religions themselves, but the people who practiced them. He asked me to observe their passion and relate it to my own. He said that if I asked the right questions I’d come to the same conclusions as him. He wasn’t trying to convince me, he wanted me to convince myself.
Oh boy, that changed my life forever.
Learned a trade that I love as a career (industrial electrician), fell in love with my boyfriend, bought and renovated a home from 1890 together, plan to get married eventually!
More female electricians please!
My daughter is in her 2nd year, of 5, election school - she’s Union and loving being an electrician.
She just attended the Washington DC female electrician convention.
It’s completely changed her life.
Who said anything about me being a woman lol
I’m a gay guy, although it’s not exactly something I bring up around my coworkers. The exception being the shop I worked in for 7 years because those fellas were like family.
That’s cool about your daughter though, the trades are a very straight male dominated field
Shit, sorry, saw you wrote “boyfriend” and thought “female electrician, like my daughter!”. Hey, the trades need more LGBQ+ people too!
Congrats!
Surprisingly (to me), having a child. I never wanted kids. Never even babysat, didn’t like them-- hated how silly, loud, and disgusting they are. Then I got pregnant by accident. I was terrified. I was abused as a child and have a bad temper, so I was afraid I would lose it and hurt my kid. Pregnancy was difficult, labor and delivery moreso, but the instant he popped out … I cannot describe to you the transformation. I am sure it is purely hormonal; pitocin is a helluva drug. My husband even said, “Who are you and what have you done with my wife?” It was akin to a lobotomy. Suddenly I adored babies and wanted to hold them and coo at them. I became more mellow and patient, went from the sort of conservative mindset that thinks “get a job,” to the theretofore incomprehensible liberal views like “most in jail aren’t really to blame for the circumstances they find themselves in, let’s help them instead of punish them.”
My son is by far the biggest blessing in my life. He is a companion that I never grow tired of, a wise sounding board, and a balm to my old age. I am literally a kinder, better person because I had him.
Aww I bet you are a fantastic mom. Keep doing you and I’m wishing all the best for you and your family.
What advice can you give to other children hating women?
I’m not one to give advice. My joy is a happy accident of chemistry, I think.
Getting sober
It allowed me to actually sort through all of my mental health problems and confront myself on who I was and who I wanted to be
Not to mention how much my physical health has improved
It was honestly the hardest thing I’ve done as well given that I started drinking when I was 12.
I’ve been sober now for 6 years
Edit: In 6 years it will go from “the longest I’ve been sober since I started drinking” to “The longest stretch of time I’ve been sober in my whole life”
Hey congratulations! Addiction is like an onion: it has so many layers! You’ll likely shed a tear or two once you decide to cut it open, but once diced and sauteed (i.e. overcome your addiction), it will add so much flavor to life!
Getting sober is my pick too. Im just over a year in from my last drink. Ive excelled at work, had 3 raises, finished my degree, made quality new friends, met a beautiful woman who is now my best friend, took a chance and kissed her one night, and she kissed back. Life is great.
Hell yeah, I’m at 5 and a half myself. Really helps me keep my priorities straight.
Got blitzed out of my mind on ecstasy and mushrooms and wrote some passionate emails which got me a full scholarship
Got blitzed out of my mind on ecstasy and mushrooms
At the same time? Sounds like a wild ride!
Congrats on the scholarship. :)
Yea, called ‘hippie flipping’
I think that’s what they call Jedi Tripping.
being born in a place where i am not genocided for being myself (yet)
sigh
My best thing happened unexpectedly on March 15, 1973. (Probably makes me the oldest person in the room.) My high school guidance counselor died in his sleep. Bummer for him, but lucky for me. Back in the ’60s, my school system had me pegged as a gifted student, which was a one-size fits all label. That tag followed me to high school, where as a green sophomore, I was assigned the “gifted” guidance counselor, Mr. Daly. Daly was also a history teacher, and greatly loved and admired. He was a retired USMC Vietnam vet, and suffered from Marfan syndrome, giving him a strange and imposing appearance. He was a force of nature, that guy. I was 15 when we first met, and I had no idea about what I would do with my life. Because of my label, Daly had it all figured out. In his mind I was on my way to become a doctor, lawyer, CEO, etc. Yeah — no thanks. I had no goals, only passions — Photography and Design. I wanted to enroll in my school’s tech classes and follow my interests. Daly squashed that idea. Wasn’t going to happen. I was heartbroken. As a kid of 15 I had no leverage, and didn’t know how I could get what I wanted. My parents were no help; “He probably knows best” was the best they could do. A few weeks later, when I came to school on the 16th of March, word was that Mr. Daly had died the previous night. While the school was in mourning, I was a pretty happy kid. My new counselor had no objections to me taking the photo and design track. :: After high school, university and some preliminary jobs, I started my own marketing communications business (then called freelancing, today gig work) and continued for 30+ years by myself. Of course the work had its ups and downs, but I was happy and always employed. :: Now I’m 66 and retired, and I always wonder what my life would be like if Mr. Daly had lived and imposed his vision on my life. Guess I got lucky. :: Rest in peace, Mr. D.
This is a really well told and interesting answer. Thank you for sharing!
Amazing story. Indeed thank you for sharing! 💜🧡
You’re older than I am, but not by a lot.
My guidance counsellor moment was probably around 1975-76. I was deep into comp sci; a friend would tell me years later that the teacher knew less than at least a couple of us. I would ask him a question, he would say he’d look into it. Unbeknownst to me, he wandered over to the other advanced student (Phil) and put my question to him. Phil would reply, teacher would make his way back to me and share the knowledge. The same thing would happen if Phil had a question; teacher would come to me for the answer.
My friend watched this whole thing with amusement.
Now for the GC moment. Career counselling.
I went to the GC’s office full of electric enthusiasm, hoping to learn of the great CS things that awaited me after uni. I told him about my love and fascination with computers. He had the reaction, the kind a parent has when they need to tell their child their favourite pet has died. He told me that it might be fun and make for an interesting hobby, but that there were no computer-related careers. And that I should consider another vocation. I was crushed.
I even spent some years in university studying things that were unrelated to CS. My career didn’t get any traction until about 10 years after HS, unsurprisingly in the field I was most passionate about.
Anyway, I’ve been a computer professional for about 35 years now.
Absolutely meeting my husband. Joining the military absolutely laid the groundwork for breaking out of my conservative/republican ideology, but it was truly the work my husband put into me to pull me in Progressive thinking. I tell him all the time how he’s made me into a MUCH better human being.
It’s funny, I joined the Marines, infantry, and came out much, much more progressive.
I think it’s eye opening to see how much better everyone’s lives are when they have things like free Healthcare, subsidized school, and subsidized housing.
Not to mention many of our deployments occurring to locations where religious extremism has dominated society.
The military used to lean heavily red as a rule, but I think looking around and seeing the struggles of our civvie family and friends makes us go, “Fuck, wouldn’t it be awesome if EVERYONE could have this?”
I’ll be separating soon and the biggest thing I’ll miss is the healthcare. Not having literally any bills for any medical treatment is fantastic.
It’s funny for Republicans to want to keep over funding the military, given that the biggest expense is the socialized healthcare.
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I think you’ll still qualify for Tricare after you get out. Before my Dad passed, he was on Tricare (after having been out of the military for decades) and I think they only just recently started charging for it the past few years, but it was still ridiculously cheaper than any private health insurance rates (for him it was something like $12/month vs $600/month private insurance). I stayed away from getting him on because I assumed there was something wrong with it, but nope, I only regret not getting him on Tricare sooner.
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By luck: meeting my husband online in a random forum. Self explanatory.
By choice: getting top surgery (a double mastectomy). What a literal and figurative weight off my chest! Being able to just walk outside without wrestling into a binder or being worried about if people noticed my chest was such a game changer. You don’t realize what a gift it is to be able to get up and go outside on a whim until you can’t do it.
You couldn’t do it because of their size? Or other compounding factors?
Meeting my wife. She’s the best and I’m better off because of her.
Hey fucker you took my answer! She’s the best tho isn’t she? Mine is the best. I’m sure yours is the best. They’re the best.
My son was born healthy. Became a father I guess would be more “to me”…
I had a zit on my armpit that made an audible pop, my soul still shivers from that one. Also marrying my husband.
Met my partner who shares the same mental disorder, the only person I know who could teach me to cope and become a functional adult when I had almost lost all hope.
What disorder?
Autism spectrum issues. I was getting incredibly lonely because I don’t work well with in person conversations.
Had both my lungs collapsed. Forced me to quit pot which made my life take a 180 degree turn.
Ah man, happy to hear that for you dude. Much love.
Cutting ties with my dad, he was a giant angry child who would verbally and mentally abuse me and my mother and other family members.
Haven’t spoken to him in over 5 years and I’ve gotten overall happier and healthier both physically and mentally.
Please come help us all at !AdultChildren.@lemm.ee
