Then you get the women who hate ethnic minorities, foreigners, sex-positivity, other religions that aren’t their own denomination, and LGBTQ+ people more than they hate sexism. They will put up with misogynistic bullshit if it means they get to be racist and homophobic.
There’s probably more of the former, though. Like you say a lot of them trick themselves into “being the exception,” often because their partner is nice to them specifically.
I inherited this pet peeve from someone else and at the same time, developed the pet peeve of inheriting other people’s pet peeves.